“Carry your backpack, open the door, pay for dinner.” “Why? I can do it on my own. I am not helpless.”
Shhhh – Let this be our secret. Men truly are very simple creatures. They need love and can be trained. So, women need to understand that how we respond to men’s action or inaction resonates beyond the moment.
I love the conversations that I have each day with my 17 year old daughter. My time after school with her tends to be measured in nanoseconds while giving me her daily briefing so, I try to Make Each Moment Count!
Today our conversation went something like this:
Jessica: Noah insisted on carrying my backpack at school today.
Mom: Did you let him?
Jessica: Yes (exasperated). But, I am not helpless.
Mom: Noah doesn’t think you are helpless. So, Let him. He cares for you. Let him show it in the simple ways like carrying your backpack.
Jessica: But, mom, I didn’t want him to carry it. I could carry it just fine on my own.
Mom: Jessica, when dad and I were dating, he wanted to hold the doors for me. He wanted to buy me flowers every week. Well, I rejected that in college with an attitude of “I can do it on my own”. Well, he stopped holding the doors and the flowers were only bought on special occasions. Life lesson today: We train men how we want to be treated. If you want him to continue to make you feel special- be appreciative, don’t critique, don’t complain and quietly train. Strength is not measured by how heavy the load we carry, but how we get the load carried. Shhhhh…. let this be our little secret.